problems~~~~

Assalamualaikum.... omgosh... it feels like.... eternity since I updated this blog... oh my... so lame!!!

ok so now that im here... i got some problems.... guy problems to be exact... i know i know im still at a young age to have this kinda feelings but hey Allah created emotions how can you fight it back??? somestimes..

so these past few weeks... my emotions was really confusing... it confused the heck outta me......... boy did i did not enjoy that... i thought i like this guy but turns out i didnt actually like him... but what i didnt understand was that (before i realize my own feelings a bit) i felt a bit jealous when he was talking about my best friend my unnie... i didnt understand why i would smile like an idiot when chatting with him.. why i actually tried to steal some glances at him...

so uchik tried to pair me up.. uchik + fwf (this awsum pal) tried to set us up... apperently uchik n fwf was trying to pair me up with guys and she said it ways dayum hard.. but hey im a hard girl (self praise xD). so yeah.... we both knew our feelings for each other but didnt have the guts to confessed....

mmmm.. after quite a long time of chatting he suddenly confessed.... but the weird thing was i only felt a bit happy... not only that but i was extremely calm.... while he was so nervous his fingers were shaking.. (lol.. kinda cute...) he said he has been waiting for 3 years... i was kinda amazed.. since he used to be a playboy.. (i got my ways to get infos..) i dont really trust playboys.. but nevertheless i told him i did have some feelings for him..

i was kinda thankful that he confessed on a thursday night though i would love it if he confessed on the friday night so i wont get teased at... the next day yes i got teased by my friends.... but b4 that i told him that we werent a full couple yet cuz he have to gain my trust n i told him not to tell a soul except fwf... so yeah... back to the present.. i was praying, so i wont meet him during the school hours... cuz i really didnt want to get teased like BADLY!! but luck wasnt on my side.. i did bump into him at snack... n my sis's teased me... wah maluu....

waktu ptg p.e time... i did see him but not near distance but far distance.. he was playing football with his friends.. n i got this really really bad feeling in the stomach until u could cry for no good reason... n that friday night i had camp until sat evening... between those time i realize that i did not like being a couple 1 bit... i felt.. dirty.. dnt no how.. i felt as if i was trapped.. i wasnt free thats how... so i asked uchik for advice cuz she was kinda dating... she said she felt butterflies the good ones.. while i felt a different thing.. so i told him that i wasnt ready n we kinda broke up... uchik was furious for a bit... but hey i need to find my real happiness....

but now were close friends like b4.... so from what i experienced is that... i dnt want to be a couple until i am clear with my feelings.... if its mere/slight/little crushes no i wont 'layan' those feelings... ill ignore it.. so yeah... im still young n im already having these probs... i should focus on study first then... kekkeek...

well thats all... till next time xP..... Assalamualaikum..